WORK FOR IT: Cauliflower Pizza Crust (LOW CARB)

Before I launch into my tale, let me preface by saying there is an extremely delicious, low carb end to this story, lest you be put off by my next few paragraphs.

Like all things in life,this seemed endless overly complicated and stressful.... 

I did't think i was going to get through it.

I regretted even starting it.

1.I had already made several other 'regular' pizzas for the fam. They had moved on and were happily enjoying their saturday night while i slaved over this bad boy.

2.I have a very small kitchen which was already a complete wreck when i started. AND my busted oven was turning on and off the whole time, making things indescribably difficult. 

4.Plus, I was really hungry.

As I was making it I really thought, 

OK NO. This is too much.

Now, that I am on the other side of it, I think making a second one would be 1000x easier. I urge you to try it when you have time and energy to get through the virgin crust.

Plus it was absolutely delicious. EVERYONE went nuts for it. Trust me, it does NOT taste like some fakey vegetarian version of a food we adore. It's super! It's low carb!

I confess, I WILL make it again, knowing what i know now.

WORK FOR IT: Low Carb Cauliflower Pizza Crust
makes 1 large crust

Ingredients:

4 cups raw cauliflower rice

1 egg, beaten

1 cup mozzarella 

1/2 cup cheddar

(Use whatever spices you think will work. I used...)

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 t oregano 

1 t basil 

2 t chopped garlic

pinch of salt

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 400F, and start your crust.

To make the cauliflower "rice": pulse batches of raw cauliflower florets in a food processor, until a rice-like texture is achieved. Ours came out even finer than rice and worked just wonderfully. It's just too easy.

Microwave the cauliflower in a microwave safe bowl, for 8 minutes, stirring to vent steam every 2 minutes. When it's done, Let it sit and cool, folding it over with a spoon every so often. I put it onto a flatter plate to allow more steam to come out.

Once you've cooled the "rice", transfer it to a clean, thin dishtowel.  In the dishtowel, twist it up, then SQUEEZE all the excess moisture out! It should make the cauliflower into a sort of mashed potato like ball inside the towel. ALOT of extra water will be released, which is important! 

In a large bowl, combine the cauliflower ball, egg, cheeses and spices. Transfer onto a parchment lined baking sheet and spread/shape/flatten into a rectangular crust like thing. It WON'T feel like regular dough, but don't worry. (1/4 inch?...our was even thinner i think) Now,continue to blot the whole thing several times with paper towels when you are fashioning it into the crust. 

(Yes, it takes alot to get the moisture out, But if you don't do it, the crust will be soggy and not like a crust at all.)

Bake it until it starts to turn golden. Then, VERY IMPORTANT, CAREFULLY invert it onto a new cookie sheet by placing another parchment on top and flipping. It's not as hard as it seems, but be careful. Let's be honest, it's hot and not cooked completely yet. (If you made two smaller crusts this whole shindig would be easier....)

Peel the old parchment off the back and then bake the other side till it is also golden. You could even broil it a little to speed up the process! 

Take it out and  top it with whatever the heck you want! (Yes, we used pepperoni on half or it...But thats entirely optional -duh.)
BROIL the toppings everything is browned and melted the way you like. Let it cool for 5 or 10 minutes,If you want cut it perfectly, But we devoured it right away and it was just glorious.

I think making a double batch of this and freezing one seems like a delightful option.

FAMILY TALLY: A+++. SERIOUSLY.

I was inspired by this recipe and the comments that were made regarding it. http://detoxinista.com/2012/01/the-secret-to-perfect-cauliflower-pizza-crust/

COMPROMISE: Sunday CornBread Muffins

Death to the grocery store bakery made corn muffins my kids used to live on. That is my quest. That is my vow. 

I used to lean on those heavily when my kids were young. For some reason they seemed healthier than the BANANA NUT or the supposed BLUEBERRY. All those glorious containers waiting for you in the bakery section screaming "Your Kids will LOVE US!"...." You dont have to COOK anything!!!"

Of course, I ignored the label and concentrated on the fact they had a whole grain in them, and were there waiting to be lovingly eaten without complaint.

Those days are gone and yesterday I said NO to the PICKY ONE when she requested I buy her old favorite. The old stand by. The gorgeous plastic encased sparkly grocery store mini corn muffin. I didn't even look at the label, I didn't even consider it. Knowing what i know now, those things probably have as much sugar as an oreo....and probably just a trace of corn flour.....The PICKY ONE didn't seem terribly surprised.

Boo Hoo. Goodbye old friend.

So i just adapted the recipe on the back of my cornmeal bag. Old fashioned and probably the best resource. These came out beautifully, But i should warn you not in any way as sweet or oily as the grocery store's. They are moist and nicely brown on the edges, But i fear the kids will just say...THEY TASTE LIKE CORN BREAD!?!?!

Now,this whole thing confirms my suspicions entirely,those other muffins are FULL of crap. I feel like I added plenty of sweetness. sigh. 

Sugar is not our friend.

I order to appease the younger set, I will continue to try and incorporate sweetness without dumping in cups of white sugar...but for now these are gorgeous serious corn muffins that might beg for a nice tsp of natural jam?

two different pans gave me tow different muffin looks. weird.

COMPROMISE: Sunday Corn Bread Muffins

1 3/4 cups Corn Meal of your choice (i like the coarse yellow version)

3/4 cup GF Flour of choice ( i used oat and all purpose mixed)

2 eggs beaten

1/2 cup Brown Rice syrup or Agave

1 packet stevia

6 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup coconut oil, melted at room temp

2 cups milk of your choice (i mixed 2% and almond unsweetened vanilla)

Mix together as little as possible until fully incorporated. Coconut oil is tenacious and hates to mix in. Put in muffin cups.

Bake at 450 for approx. 14 miuntes. Check with a toothpick for doneness!

BLAMO: Super Protein Bars

I made some protein bars last week that the kids were really jazzed about. They said they tasted like CLIFF bars, but i didn't. 

Anyhoo, I forgot to blog them and they are LONG gone. ah well. I was taken by how STUPID EASY these things are to make. 

The HEALTH FOOD business is pulling a huge one over on us, people.

Today before my run i wanted to get something made for when THE VEGETARIAN comes back from her 2 dance classes. Something sweet and healthy, that feels like a treat and has all the protein she so desperately needs ...being the no eggs, no fish, no garbanzo bean kind of vegetarian she happens to be. 

sigh.

I quickly adapted a simpler recipe from the internet, as it was really boring and just not nutritious enough for my taste. 

These came out great. Maybe even TOO sweet, although you'd never hear my kids say that.

New challenge= I need t make my own chocolate chips. I just can't buy 'em anymore. There has to be any easy, low cost and less sugary version i can achieve. 

I'm on a mission.... stay tuned. But not today. There are attics to be cleaned, teen bathing suits to be shopped for (lord help me), flowers to be planted and tonight...Cauliflower pizza crust. 

Yes it's happening.

Welcome to my relaxing weekend.

BLAMO: Super Protein Bars

1/4 cup steel cut oats (for a real crunch)

1/8 cup hulled hemp seeds

3/4 cup rolled/old fashioned oats (i always used Gluten free)

1/8 cup chia seeds

1/8 cup honey

1/8 light agave

3/4 cup mini chocolate chips

1/8 cup unsweetened coconut

1/4 cup almond butter

1/4 cup peanut butter

2 tbsp protein powder (i use RAW vanilla, because it's awesome)

Note about ingredients: You don't HAVE to have chia...you could use ground flax! You don't have to use hemp, you could use quinoa flakes or just more oats, you could use regular agave or even just more honey....See what I mean? It's pretty easy to adjust.

In a large bowl, mix them together. Take half the mixture and shape into a large log on a long piece of saran wrap. close the saran wrap around the length of the log and roll into a thinner log. When it is the shape you desire, slightly flatten for a more bar like shape.  

pop them in the freezer for at least 1/2 hour and then cut to desired length.

(You don't have to do any of this. You could just roll into bite sized balls or put in a pan and cut..It's up to you.)

Keep in the freezer until you are ready to eat or pack in a lunch! 

HALLELUJAH: Homemade Crackers with Hemp & Flax

Oh Gee Whiz

 i had a bee in my bonnet about crackers. 

I love them, but almost NEVER buy store bought because they are expensive and taste really processed to me. Plus I really can't stop eating them when they are around.


I ran across this recipe when I was trolling for all things HEMP SEED related. I can't tell you how worth it is to go buy a bag of Hulled hemp seeds and a box of Quinoa flakes at the health food store. I can't stop cooking with them and they jack up MANY recipes with a huge list of benefits...including added protein.

That being said, i didn't have high hopes. They just seemed way too easy. Except for the rolling. I'm not fond of the rolling pin....so all bets were off.

It's been a busy couple of weeks, and I haven't cooked as much. But this morning when it was cloudy and my bad arm was going to keep me out of the garden for the most part (SAD FACE), I decided it was recipe day.

This is the first thing I tried, and boy 'm I glad!

The PS is these also happen to be PALEO as well as GF.. Not lowfat by any stretch of the imagination...But they are made with the wondrous coconut oil, which is VERY VERY good for you.

And yes, some of them were shaped like small elf boots. 

What can I say?

OMG: Homemade Crackers with Hemp & Flax

Ingredients

• 2 egg white
• 2 tbs coconut flour
• 1 cup almond meal
• 1 cup ground flax meal  (Easy to make from flax seeds ground finely in a mill)
• 4 Tablespoons shelled hemp seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt, or possibly a bit less.
• 4 Tablespoons coconut oil, melted
• 1/8 each Garlic & Onion powder
• 2 pinches rosemary, i ground it up...

1. Preheat oven to 300° F.
2. Mix all the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Pour coconut oil and the egg white into the dry ingredients and mix well, add a bit more flour if it seems to crumbly...but not much! When you get this mixture together it really looks as if there is NO WAY they will stick together....but they do.
3. IMPORTANT: These are extremely easy to roll BUT, They are also fragile. Its tempting to roll them out extremely thinly, which adds up to a million rounds of re-rolling. Focus on making them dense as opposed to super thin.  I learned that the ones which had the most DOWNWARD pressure with the pin, were the easiest to cut out. Use a cookie or pizza cutter to cut and Don't go nuts.
4. Roll the crackers out thinly between two sheets of parchment paper.
5. Bake for 25 minutes and them eye them until they until they are getting brown all over..
6. Cool completely and store in an airtight container.
7. Makes about 200 small elf sized crackers :)

FAMILY TALLY: Only 2 of us were home, but we thought them delightful!

OH NO: La Paltrow's Millet Muffins (Our version)

FAIL #2

OH NO. 

Perfectly good millet muffins ruined by rushing.

Absolutely nothing wrong with these except we chose the wrong pan and completely overfilled, as you can see. 

Everything was going so well. 

we chose the wrong pan and completely overfilled, as you can see. 

Don't kid yourselves, We're making these again and they are DEVINE!

So, In closing, DONT overfill, and don't use a mini bundt pan. DUH.

OH NO: Our version of La Paltrow's Millet Muffins 

1 1/2 cups gluten-free flour 

1/2 cup Quinoa flakes or quick cook GF Oats

1/2 cup raw millet

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

Big pinch fine sea salt

1/3 cup ground flaxseed

2/3 cup maple syrup 

2/3 cup unsweetened Vanilla almond milk

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/3 melted coconut oil

1 cup chopped dried figs or dates

TOPPING:
1/3 cup butter, siftened.
1 tbsp cinnamon
3 tbsp brown sugar

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, millet, baking powder, baking soda, salt,  and ground flaxseed. 

In another bowl, whisk together the maple syrup, almond milk, and olive oil. In a small bowl, toss the chopped dried figs with a spoonful of the dry ingredients (this keep the fruit from sinking down to the bottom of the muffins, and keeps the figs from sticking together). 

Gently mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until just combined, then fold in the figs.

In a seperate small bowl combine topping ingredients and cut together with pastry knife or fork until fairly well mixed.

Spoon the batter into the muffin cups, add 1 tsp topping on top.

Bake until browned and a toothpick comes out clean,  about 20 minutes

Makes approx.18 muffins 

Adapted From It’s All Good, by Gwyneth Paltrow & Julia Turshen

FAMILY TALLY: everyone loved them except for THE PICKY ONE. surprised?

A KEEPER: Scallion Ginger Tofu Marinade

• 
• Good Luck. 
• My newly vegetarian teen keeps reminding me(she's TRYING to be patient)that she doesn't like SOY all that much. 
• Have you ever tried to find a tofu marinade without soy??? It's ridiculous. I FINALLY ran across this... which has a small bit of tamari and tried it.
• A complete hit!
• I cut the drained & de-watered tofu in slices, marinaded it for 3 hours and then fried it up in a pan with a bit of coconut oil. 
• It came out beautifully. Not too spicy. Made the house smell like heaven.
• Even THE PICKY ONE tolerated it. I'd say this is a total keeper. The next time I will double the batch as this was BARELY enough for one block of extra firm Tofu.
• Now as you can see we like our stuff CRISPY (ok, it looks burnt...But i assure you thats 1000% tasty.)
• You could obviously roast this or do it in a pan. I just wanted to try something different since my oven could use a break, and I thought the pan would give it that extra crisp WE like. It did!
• This would really work as a marinade on anything, I think.
• 
  
• A KEEPER: Scallion Ginger Tofu Marinade

• 1 tbsp rice vinegar
• 1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
• 1 tbsp reduc sodium tamari (or shoyu or soy sauce)
• 1 tsp agave nectar
• 1 tbsp fresh ginger (minced, or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger)
• 1 tbsp garlic (minced fresh, or 1/2 teaspoon powdered garlic)
• 1/2 cup scallions (chopped)
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• 1/2 tsp coriander
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper

NEW FAVORITE: Tahini cookies

• These got a great response from everybody. TRULY AMAZING!I think it's a first for this blog. 
• 
  
• The kids said they would prefer LESS sesame seeds...BUT WHO CARES?!?!? They actually ate them. My idea is to try them with some other toppings like coconut etc. 
• 
  
• These are just sweet enough and come out lovely, IF you remember to smash them down! 

Mine came out perfectly chewy in the middle and crunchy on the outside.

• 
  

• 

• THE NEW GIRL: Tahini Cookies

• 1 ¼ cups almond flour
• 1/8 cup almond, coconut or GF flour
• ¼ tsp sea salt
• ½ tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp maple syrup
• ⅓ cup agave nectar or honey
• ⅓ cup tahini 
• 1 tblsp Coconut oil
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• ¼ cup sesame seeds (unsweetened coconut or very fine topping of your choice)
• 
  
• In a large bowl, combine almond flour, salt and baking soda. 
• In a smaller bowl, blend together agave, tahini, oil and vanilla. 
• Blend the dry ingredients into the wet. With slightly damp hands and a small spoon, Form the dough into 1 inch balls and roll in the sesame seeds. Place on a parchment paper lined baking sheet and FLATTEN with a fork.

Bake at 350° for 8-10 minutes until lightly brown. Cool on baking sheet

FAMILY TALLY: ALL GAVE A THUMBS UP!

BEST BITE: Frozen Raw Brownie Bites

• 
  
  
  Ok I am obviously romanced by the weird new health things like Quinoa flakes, Hemp and the like. My cupboard is filling up and I feel like I should be wearing John Lennon glasses and a moo moo. I don't know what's happening to me. I have been known to chow down on McDonalds back in the day, I confess.

I also feel a strange urge to bake all the time. I HATE baking. I'm talking card carrying, cake from a box tastes better and is a F*** lot easier than a homemade cake kinda baker. Die Hard.

...hated.

A change has come, I guess. Go figure. I'm going with it for now, even though the dishes are getting me down and our tiny kitchen is starting to explode...

Anyway- THESE ARE AMAZING. To the point Very VERY chocolaty. A HUGE HIT.

• 
  
• 
  
• 

• BEAUTIFUL BITE: Frozen Raw Brownie Bites

• ¼ cup raw shelled hemp seeds or fine add in of your choice 
• 1 tsp brown sugar
• 1 tsp maple syrup
• 3 tbsp chia seeds or ground flax seeds
• ½ cup unsweetened vanilla non dairy milk
• 1 tsp agave
• ⅔ cup + 2 tbsp bittersweet chocolate chips
• 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• 4 tbsp coconut oil
• 2 tsp natural vanilla extract
• ¼ cup coconut flour

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. Combine hemp seeds with 1 tsp sugar & maple syrup in a non stick pan. Cook at LOW heat for about 5 minutes, until they start to brown, stirring often so they don’t burn. Set aside to cool.
4. 
   
5. Mix milk and chia/ground flax seeds in a small bowl and set aside
6. 
   
7. In a large microwave safe bowl, melt together ⅔ cup chocolate chips, unsweetened chocolate, cocoa powder, agave and coconut oil on the 50% setting for 90 seconds at a time. Stir and repeat till everything is melted.
8. 
   
9. Once it’s completely melted, add vanilla extract, chia mixture, coconut flour, hemp seeds and 2 tablespoons of chocolate chips. Mix until all the ingredients together. THIS WILL BE VERY VERY GOOEY.
10. 
    
11. Spoon mixture into paper liners in a cupcake or muffin pan and freeze until they harden (this usually takes about 45 minutes to an hour). I used mini cupcake liners, for the small bites...But you could use any size really.
12. 
    
13. Thaw for a few minutes to serve!

COMFORT: Artichoke Chicken Bake

Ok, this was a hit for me and THE MEAT EATER a couple days ago. I had a bunch of artichokes left over,frozen chicken which i had thawed and some peas that needed to be eaten or go the way of all things.

and wanted something super simple.

I DID accidentally omit 2 items unwittingly, But this came out lovely anyway. I threw the peas in for fun, i admit.

I would eat this again and again and also serve to guests. 

A word to the wise: Always rinse and drain those canned artichoke hearts. That water they are kept in has a tang that can really mess up a recipe.

He ate this over pasta, I ate it over spaghetti squash!

STUPID EASY: Baked Artichoke Chicken

4 lbs. your choice chicken cut up

1 cup rinsed artichoke pieces, halved (canned is fine, I used fresh which is a pain but worth it)

1 medium onion, cut into pieces same size as the artichokes
1 pound any mushrooms (halved or quartered)
2 tablespoons coarse mustard
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
***1 cup small peas (frozen or fresh)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
***1/4 cup red or white wine (you could also sub in chicken stock)
1/4 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
***1/4 teaspoon dried tarragon
1 bay leaf
kosher salt and pepper (to taste)

Preheat oven to 350F-375F, depending if you like crispy skin or not.

Place artichokes, onions and mushrooms on the bottom of a big pan.
Place chicken pieces on top of the vegetables.

Mix the mustard with the rest of the ingredients and pour over chicken.
Season w/ salt & pepper.

***My changes and or accidental omissions.

Adapted for a recipe on THE CHEW.


FAMILY TALLY: A+ from the two of us, everyone else was MIA.

OK not so picture worthy i guess...
But taste wise it gets an A!